Tuesday, July 13, 2010

More Beverly Hills...creepy sexist rapist teacher

School has started again and everyone's excited, except Dylan. Duh, he's juggling 2 girls now who happen to be best friends. Not smart.

You should have gone David's route and hooked up with some chick who's not from your town. Except, uh oh...she's transferred here. Good lord, I could see that coming a mile away.

David realizing he's never going to have sex with Donna.

Andrea is really excited to be a senior (for like the 6th year in a row) and can't wait to introduce Brandon to their new faculty advisor for The Blaze. Even Jason Priestly, who's at least 23-24 isn't buying Gabrielle as a 17 year old. Look at his face. Priceless.

Brenda, Steve and Donna agree to be senior "buddies" to some incoming freshman/transfers. Look, it's the girl from The Nanny and Beethoven!

And apparently she's really into the 70's fashion revival that hit us all in 1990. Plus, she's totally pulling a Stephanie K. from Degrassi.

Shannon is shocked. "I didn't get the memo to wear a cute (ugly) vest, instead I wore all black! It's New York cool right?"

Kelly and Dylan have Spanish together. If I could speak espanol I would write something sort of sexy, ooh la la here. Fail.

Fuck, Brenda is in the class too. Look at how evil she is. I totally wanted her bangs in 7th grade though.

Dylan knows he's in hot shit. It's only a matter of time before this all hits the fan. You're still adorable though.

And look who Donna's buddy is! I'm shocked. It's f'ing Nikki. The girl David cheated with this summer. Predictable plot twist.

Oy ve. Remember last year, when nobody liked me and now I have girls falling all over themselves to get in my hammer pants.

New English teacher/faculty adviser suggests Andrea let Brandon be chief of The Blaze this year. hello, The Blaze is like totally Andrea's life. And has been since 1985! You can't ruin her streak!(by the way, first time I saw this, I got the weird rapist vibe, not sexist teacher)

Kelly works out aggressively and bitches about Brenda & Dylan while creepy David watches. Gross.

Andrea has had enough! She's tired of your wanna-be James Dean hair Brandon, and she's not going to put up with it anymore. (she's quitting the paper)

What the crap Dylan, Brenda found a dangly clip-on earring at your place, and it IS NOT HERS! She only wears hypoallergenic earrings from Claires, not these trashy things.

"I just switched my whole schedule around to save your ass. You're welcome. No wait, I didn't do this for you. I did this for me! Because I am a feminist, and refuse to let some scum bag boy make me feel bad. And you won't be getting into this babydoll dress anytime soon"

Oh my god, it's The Nanny girl and her grunge biker gang. Except Donna drops the bomb that Nanny girl is actually Scott (you know the guy who was in the 1st season of BH90210, but wasn't very cute, so they killed him off in season 2 by making him accidentally shoot himself in the face? Yikes)'s little sister. Brenda feels dumb for not remembering who he is. Don't worry Bren, most of us forgot about him too.

Andrea basically calls teach out on his sexist bullshit. It's actually kind of awesome. No snark here.

Post tongue-lashing depression.

What do you mean about having the same great taste in guys? I know we buy the same off the shoulder tops from The Rave, but that's all we have in common right?

Donna we did not have sex. Just making out with a little tongue...and I might have given him a BJ in his parents cabana. But it didn't mean anything to me! Don't blame David, he's such a great guy! Blame me! Slutty transfer student!
(no really, this character pretty much calls herself a slut)

Time for Brenda Walsh pep talk. "I didn't really know your brother. But I was at the party where he was shot. So you know, we have that bond."

Co-Chiefs! Perfect solution. Andrea can do all the work and Brandon can take most of the credit.


What are you doing? I love Donna. I just don't know how to tell her that I can't keep it in my pants, and her dad won't write a storyline where we lose the big V together, and it's just so hard....

Busted. But ha ha, we're just playing a trick on you. Together. Because we're besties now, and making you miserable is our new favorite past time. Hi-five sista.

So I'm still holding out for sex....but we can kiss a little.

Kelly, you're just lonely. We need to find you a dude as cool as my cool-rider Dylan. Wah-wah.....credits


Amanda said...

Awesome. I never got to watch this growing up (hicksville didn't get that channel). Now I know what happened.

Sadako said...

Poor virginal Donna.

I didn't get rapist vibe from the teacher, just sexist, but either way I hated him. It was weird how the characters seemed to think teacher/student sex was normal. Isn't there an ep where Andrea considers seducing the drama teacher but he has a girlfriend?

Ali said...

Poor Nikki. Ever since she was forced to menstruate at an early age (a result of the Griswold family truckster sailing off a cliff in the Arizona desert), she was never the same.

I wanted to nestle in Dylan's forehead creases for eternity or until 8 Seconds came out.