Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Things that need to change about Glee before the whole show capsizes

Ok. I AM A GLEEK. I frigging love the crap out of the show Glee. I download songs before the episode is out, I have frantic text sessions with my little sister while watching episodes, I nerd out on message boards (well sometimes) about the outcomes of my favorite characters.

But Glee is seriously starting to piss me off. I feel like they are taking a great show, and completely ruining it. Here's a few helpful hints to help Ryan Murphy and Co not destroy the show I love:

1. Enough with the artist themed episodes. Last night's Britney Spear's extravaganza was a great example of this. No real plot development. Sometimes tacky song arrangements. Scene for scene video re-enactments. This equals snooze fest. I'm not saying there wasn't enjoyable aspects of the episode (Seeing Heather Morris finally sing/dance the hell out of some songs, a Glee-ified version of "Toxic" that didn't suck, Sue's zing about wearing more vests than the cast of Blossom, John Stamos!!!), but you can't just throw four Britney hallucinations and a little Rachel/Finn drama in there and call it a day. I keep hearing talks of a Michael Jackson episode, a Bruce Springsteen episode, another Britney episode. NO. Please. Just put a stop to it. Incorporate these artists songs into different episodes, but please stop the focus. You nailed it with Madonna. Leave it at that.

2. Enough with the guest stars. Now wait a minute. I'm not calling off an end to ALL guest stars. Kristin Chenoweth was perfection (I wish she a regular cast member), Neil Patrick Harris...well probably didn't deserve that Emmy but was good, Idina Menzel was grossly underused and you all know how I feel about The Groff, swoon. (I'm still pissed at the way they didn't resolve that whole plot line...argg).

But now I'm hearing talks of Gwyneth Paltrow guesting. Barf. Jennifer Lopez has been rumored for quite some time. Barf. Susan Boyle. Ughh, barf. Justin Timberlake & Javier Bardem...well, swoon, but still, barf.
(I'm exempting John Stamos from this bashing because he kind of charmed my panties off last night. I also feel like he's B/C list enough to take a guesting role on Glee to really boost his career, instead of it being some celebrity cameo)

So you know, give the damn cast that was part of the pilot a freaking chance to sing!

I want more Kurt solos, more Mercedes solos, more Tina solos, more Quinn solos dammit! I want to see Mike Chang do more than dance and show off his abs. I want to explore what all their family life is like, since we've only been introduced to Quinn/Finn/Kurt's parents. Give this cast something to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2.5. If you kill off Mike O'Malley, I will stop watching the show. There I said it. I DARE YOU RYAN MURPHY.

3. Relating to 2, I'm going to say less Rachel solos. I have a hard time admitting this, since I'm a fan. I adored Lea in Spring Awakening. She kind of rocked my socks off in the first few episodes. But now? It's like a screeching cat. Who sings ALL. THE. TIME. I'm tired of it.

3.5. (see above) Lay off the auto tune. These kids can sing. Stop trying to make them sound like robots. Let their damn natural talent shine.

4. Back to Rachel....why are they trying to destroy this character? The writers have done everything in their power to make her the most annoying, whiny, clingy, obsessive, mean spirited, bitch on the show. Remember when the show started and she was an uber geek, who was aggressive and perhaps misguided in her need to be popular/famous, but who still had a heart? She was endearing in her nerdiness and you rooted for you her because you wanted her to succeed. I also miss the "home schooled" outfits. You can advance a characters growth without totally destroying how they began. (See: Willow - Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

4.5 Don't overdo Sue. You've got to ride that fine line. She's become the breakout star, the Emmy winner, but you gotta reign it in. Too much of a good thing is not that good. (also: Brittney)

5. Don't believe your own hype. Stop listening to Sony, and Fox and the media and anyone else whose trying to shove some agenda down your throat. Be the show that had a great first 13 episodes and a pretty decent back 9. Be funny and clever and snarky but still find the heart in all the subjects you mock. Spread out the song choices, let the cast shine. You've got a gem on your hands, and all it takes is one awful season for it all to go in the can. Good luck. I have (sort of) faith in you. Even after hearing that next weeks episode is called Grilled Cheezus. :: eye roll::